HOW TO WRITE THOSE NICE WORDS TO SAY TO EACH OTHER
Writing your personal vows can be a little overwhelming. Where do you start? What do you say? How long should you talk for? Well, never fear because this little guide is here! It’s designed to help simplify the process for you, so that you can spend less time worrying and more time writing the perfect vows.
Before you begin, there are a few key points to remember:
- Your vows are about YOU
- Humour is OK
- There is no ‘set’ structure or style
- Length doesn’t matter
- Genuineness DOES matter
Now, simply follow these steps and you’ll be A-O-K. Good luck!!
1. CHOOSE YOUR STYLE - Decide whether you want to use traditional vows or write your own personalised vows, OR perhaps a combination of both?
2. CHOOSE YOUR TONE - Decide the overall ‘feel’ of your vows. Would you like them to be light-hearted, quirky, humorous or traditional? Keep in mind that the tone of your vows doesn’t have to match the tone of your partner’s vows. It’s more important to write them to truly reflect who you are, then to say something in a style that’s not really you!
3. REFLECT - Before starting to write, take some time to reflect on your relationship and what your partner means to you. What do you like the most about them? What are some significant moments you’ve shared so far? What are you looking forward to in the future? How has your partner changed your life? What promises would you like to make to your partner, that feel right for your relationship? Let your answers inspire your vows and don’t be afraid to make them personal or intimate.
4. CONSIDER STRUCTURE - Consider the structure or ‘flow’ of your vows. There is no set rule when it comes to this, but sometimes it helps. Take a look at a few examples of structures below:
Past, Present, Future – Have your vows tell a story about your life before you met your partner, the times you’ve shared with them and the future you are looking forward to together.
3 Promises – Include 3 promises as part of your vows, keeping in mind that they can be as serious or as humorous as you like.
5. GET CRACKIN’ - Once you’re feeling inspired, start to put pen to paper. Even if you write a heap of random sentences about your partner, the point is that any start is a good start. Oh, and don’t worry too much about the ‘order of events’ at this stage, as it’s likely that you will tweak this later on.
6. WRITE & REFINE - The next step is to take all those ‘random thoughts’ you’ve written down and apply some sort of ‘flow’. Once you are happy with what you’ve written, leave it for a little while and then go over it again with a fresh pair of eyes.
7. SEND THEM TO JOSH - Once you’re happy with your vows, be sure to send them to firstname.lastname@example.org so that I can print them and have them ready to simply hand to you on the big day.
8. PRACTICE - Read through your vows out loud a few times, so you can see if it works or not. Listen to the way it flows and refine further (if you need).
9. BE IN THE MOMENT - On the big day, remember that this is your day and everything you say will be pure gold! Also remember to focus on your partner and not to worry about what others may expect. And finally, take a deep breath, relax and take your time…YOU GOT THIS!!
10. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, ASK FOR HELP - If you’re a little stuck, or need some help to get started, please don’t hesitate to email me at email@example.com
okay, so what now?
When you’re ready, please send your completed vows to firstname.lastname@example.org
OR if you’re ready to go now, simply write them in the space below.
Once I have your vows, I will check the grammar, format them (so they are easy to read) and print them so that they are ready to hand to you on the day :-)